Feminism & Disability
May. 19th, 2009 08:09 pm![[personal profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
troubleRead me, warning for abusive language towards PWD and women whose children have disabilities
Dear Feministing folks,
Looking at the comment I've linked above, you might think "That's just someone being a jackass, it's not really abusive language." Except that it's part of the culture that exists in the comment section of many feminist sites that says Disability is the Worst! Thing! Evar! As though none of the readers of your site, or any other progressive site, will have disabilities, or have family members, friends, or lovers with disabilities or "birth defects".
It is difficult for me to believe or convince others that "feminism is for everyone" when these sort of toxic remarks are left unchecked, when ablist language is used as insults throughout comment sections, and when the rare times that women with disabilities are discussed seriously tend to focus entirely on reproductive choices, and not on accessibility issues, support issues, or the increased chances of abuse, be it sexual, physical, or emotional, that women with disabilities experience.
Frankly, the complete silence on the amount of written abuse that people with disabilities, or women whose children have disabilities, are getting in your comment section at the moment disturbs and distresses me. Although there is little you can do at this point regarding the post in question, I would appreciate it if you would consider this an actual problem - one that affects women and men who read your site. We exist. We're real. Like you, we're not made up of only our reproductive bits, and it would be nice to be considered when you make posts.
Women whose children are born with such "defects" are often held responsible for such things, or hold themselves responsible. They wonder what they did - did they eat the wrong thing? Did they exercise too much? Not enough? Did they go to the wrong doctor? If they had had the right test, what would have happened? When someone's response to an "undesirable" person becoming pregnant is to go "OMG! There may be birth defects! This can't be allowed to happen!", it plays into those beliefs and fears.
That's creating a culture of ablism, and further plays into the idea that there's something wrong with families who have children with disabilities, and that disabilities are something that doing all the "right" things will prevent.
Sincerely,
Me
Blog Only Tidbit:
Don's mom was older than 35 when she gave birth to him, a much-wanted and very loved child. As most of you know, Don has Marfan's Syndrome. It's normally genetic, and runs in families, but it popped up in Don, and no one else. It's a "birth defect".
Dear Feministing folks,
Looking at the comment I've linked above, you might think "That's just someone being a jackass, it's not really abusive language." Except that it's part of the culture that exists in the comment section of many feminist sites that says Disability is the Worst! Thing! Evar! As though none of the readers of your site, or any other progressive site, will have disabilities, or have family members, friends, or lovers with disabilities or "birth defects".
It is difficult for me to believe or convince others that "feminism is for everyone" when these sort of toxic remarks are left unchecked, when ablist language is used as insults throughout comment sections, and when the rare times that women with disabilities are discussed seriously tend to focus entirely on reproductive choices, and not on accessibility issues, support issues, or the increased chances of abuse, be it sexual, physical, or emotional, that women with disabilities experience.
Frankly, the complete silence on the amount of written abuse that people with disabilities, or women whose children have disabilities, are getting in your comment section at the moment disturbs and distresses me. Although there is little you can do at this point regarding the post in question, I would appreciate it if you would consider this an actual problem - one that affects women and men who read your site. We exist. We're real. Like you, we're not made up of only our reproductive bits, and it would be nice to be considered when you make posts.
Women whose children are born with such "defects" are often held responsible for such things, or hold themselves responsible. They wonder what they did - did they eat the wrong thing? Did they exercise too much? Not enough? Did they go to the wrong doctor? If they had had the right test, what would have happened? When someone's response to an "undesirable" person becoming pregnant is to go "OMG! There may be birth defects! This can't be allowed to happen!", it plays into those beliefs and fears.
That's creating a culture of ablism, and further plays into the idea that there's something wrong with families who have children with disabilities, and that disabilities are something that doing all the "right" things will prevent.
Sincerely,
Me
Blog Only Tidbit:
Don's mom was older than 35 when she gave birth to him, a much-wanted and very loved child. As most of you know, Don has Marfan's Syndrome. It's normally genetic, and runs in families, but it popped up in Don, and no one else. It's a "birth defect".
Yes, exactly right.
It's amazing to me how often the people having these conversations (and if it's not this one, it's "You're so brave to still love your broken child!") don't even seem to realize, if they can't get their heads around the culture of ablism argument, that the "defective" babies they're talking about will grow up into teenagers and adults who might be reading their comments. It shouldn't be surprising - clearly understanding in one area doesn't imply understanding in another - but you'd think that feminists would maybe be a little more thoughtful about the messages our society passes around, even if those messages don't currently affect them directly.
*hug*
*laughs and pets you on the back* You really are an idealist sometimes.
But yes, Feministing doesn't have a very good track record at all for intersectionality or, really, for thoughtfulness.
They really don't see the similarities between not wanting someone to open a door for them specifically, but it being ok if that someone is holding the door open for everyone and someone with disabilities feeling the same way.
Then again, they do like to stroke each other and be all 'You're so brave to be dealing with the trolls who just don't understand our pain'.
I'm sorry they hurt you. I'm sorry they're stupid. I'm sorry you used up a utensil dealing with them when you have other things going on.
*hugs*
I don't know what will happen. I hope they at least consider what I'm saying, but their track record, as you know, isn't very good.
At least I have supportive friends. *hug*
What kinds of responses did you get to that comment? It's really good.
*Words we tend to use in the UK. Two nations divided by, etc.
I haven't heard back from Feministing yet, but this is unsurprising. First, of course, I only sent the email last night, so I should give them time. But... I dunno. I've emailed them in the past asking questions about the site being accessible and never received a response, but I did interact with Miriam once about ablist language in the comments. We'll see what happens.
I'm hoping to get in more touch with people who share my concerns and have been fighting this fight - do you know of anyone I should maybe be talking to? Or at least sharing experiences with. It gets exhausting, as I'm sure you know!
I want to make a post about just that - that people with disabilities aren't around to be very special lessons or to allow people to "truly understand" the meaning of life or whatever, but I haven't had the energy. *sigh*
We could always co-author a post about the inspiration thing. On our good days, when they occur :)
Also, I always get a little tiny bit irritated when people will criticize a site that for the most part, tries to address a number of feminist and feminist-related issues on their site for what they're not writing about. That is, there are a zillion topics to cover and they could never possibly get them all... if a topic is important to you and they're not devoting enough time to it, write about it yourself! Add it to their community section or post it here. (I'm not saying that to be dismissive, simply that everyone has the issues that are most important to them and just because women with disabilities is not their top priority doesn't mean that they don't care at all, it only means that they care about a lot of other stuff too).
That's just a little aside, because I realize the main problem is the language in the comments and I do agree with you on that. (I do understand what the commenter in question was saying - obviously no one hopes for their children to have a disability - but it was said in a very insensitive sarcastic way).
They've never even answered those emails, or the email I sent asking after the accessibility of their site. I have no idea if they've even been read.
I wish I were surprised that a post critical of judging women's choices around reproduction garnered a bunch of comments judging women's choices around reproduction.
My mom was 40 when I was born, my younger brother has Down syndrome.
I saw that comment myself - it was like a slap to the face. I comment on Feministing and as a disabled woman sometimes I really wonder why I *bother*. If it's not ableism, it's people dismissing my sexuality, or (not affecting me directly but still not something I'm happy about as I'd like to think of myself as an ally) racism or transphobia. It seems as if every time I get remotely comfortable something like this comes along; whether it's unconsciously ableist language or people abusing Renee for calling out racism or reading an old comment thread including some of the most awful ableist shit I've seen in my time online. I wish I could dismiss it as the work of a few trolls, but that doesn't really hold water if there are lots of people in there agreeing, or they're getting more "Liked" clicks than all the detractors combined. And, of course, god *forbid* someone should moderate the discussion properly. *headdesk*