[syndicated profile] thisaintliving_feed

Posted by s.e. smith

Every time members of a minority group identify something offensive—in media, in pop culture, in some other context—they’re pretty much immediately told not to be offended by people who don’t belong to that given group. The format changes from situation to situation but it usually goes like this: someone expresses offense, articulating why something is a problem, and then someone from another group explains that she wasn’t offended, and thus the minority group shouldn’t be offended. For added points, the friend who belongs to that minority group and didn’t find it offensive either will be brought up. And then members of the minority group shake their heads and ponder going into the back yard to dig a hole. Okay, maybe it’s just me who digs holes when frustrated.

So here’s the thing. Stop doing this, okay?

No I mean really. Just. Stop.

When minority groups express offense about something that’s happening, and when they join forces in large enough numbers to make their voices heard over the din of the majority, that takes courage, and it takes organising, and it takes anger, and it takes solidarity. And that means that members of the majority should probably be listening to what is going on, rather than attempting to crush the voices of the minority under their heels because the conversation makes them uncomfortable. This holds especially true for people who occupy positions of power in social justice movements; they, I would argue, have an obligation to practice what they preach.

What may seem like ‘productive discussion’ or ‘lively debate’ feels like an attack on your identity and validity as a human being when it comes from a person in a position of power who is telling you how to react to something that upset you. When a disabled woman, for example, expresses anger about something that is going on in the news and nondisabled people tell her there’s nothing to get upset about, or she doesn’t know the whole story, or she doesn’t know how hard caregivers have it, what she’s hearing is that disabled people aren’t human beings. That not only does she not have the right to be angry about, say, a case of horrific abuse of a disabled person by a ‘caregiver,’ but that she’s so unimportant that her voice, her opinions, and her experiences don’t matter.

When the Black community is told to stop being so angry about a ‘joke’ cracked at the expense of a young Black child, what they’re hearing is not discussion, or debate, or a lively intellectual conversation. What they’re hearing is that they aren’t human beings, that their voices should be silent, that they should accept subjugation. That the white elite knows what’s going on and knows how the Black community should feel, and that the words of the community don’t matter in discussions about said joke; that placing a ‘joke’ in context and confronting the racist attitudes about it is undesirable and unwarranted.

Every time people tell members of a minority group who are angry about something that they need to calm down, or that there’s nothing to be angry about, or that they’re being unreasonable, or that they’re making a mountain out of a molehill, what they’re getting is a reminder that they are lesser. They do not belong. Their outrage is not important, and in fact should be actively suppressed, because they have no reason to be angry. What matters in the processing of public events, they hear, is not how these events affect actual living people in the community under discussion, but how they affect the majority.

Was the ‘joke’ funny by the standards of the majority? Well, then, it must not have been offensive, and if the minority would just sit still long enough, a nice representative of the majority could explain it all to them and they could see how they were wrong. Members of the majority appear genuinely perplexed and outraged when the people they’re lecturing appear resistant to the idea of being told how to feel, and unappreciative of the generous efforts on the part of the majority to remind them yet again that they are not full human beings with an active role to play in society.

People often knee-jerk in defensiveness when they don’t see a problem with something but someone else does. The instinctive reaction is to negate the assertion made by the person who sees something you did not, because then you don’t have to feel guilty about not seeing it; you really enjoyed that episode of that one show and thought it was hilarious, especially the part with the thing, and here comes someone to ruin your fun by saying she found that part deeply hurtful because it was extremely sexist and offensive. Naturally, to go on with your life, you need to make her ‘perspective’ wrong, because then you can go back to enjoying it like you did before—and surely, you can explain to her why she is wrong and have things return to normal.

That even people who should know better do this is an illustration of how pervasive the desire to be right is, and how pressing the need to live in a world where you always catch everything, every time, can be. Everyone wants to live in a bubble where things go perfectly and nothing they consume ever contains problems or causes harm, because hearing that something you enjoy hurts someone else is painful. Shockingly, though, the solution to this problem isn’t telling people to stop being hurt, but to listen to them when they tell you why something is harmful, and when they tell you how to prevent it from happening again.

Misadventure

May. 21st, 2013 06:00 pm
[syndicated profile] jay_is_games_feed

Posted by Tricky

Platform: Flash —



Misadventure

The year is 1978. A child has found a video game they've never heard of before. but he doesn't realize that things on the other side of the screen lie waiting for him to play it. Misadventure is an action-adventure horror game by Mike Houser, done in the retro style of a 4-bit Atari game gone horribly wrong, and its atmospheric creepiness more than makdes up for a little directionessless in its gameplay. Tagged as: action, adventure, atari, browser, flash, free, game, horror, linux, lovecraft, mac, mhouser, pixelart, rating-r, retro, windows

Religious Service

May. 21st, 2013 03:00 pm
[syndicated profile] snopes_feed
Does Delta Air Lines prohibit Jewish passengers and Bibles on all their flights due to an alliance with Saudi Arabian Airlines?

“What was his name? Mark Carson!”

May. 21st, 2013 06:00 pm
[syndicated profile] therumpusdotnet_feed

Posted by Lisa Dusenbery

At BuzzFeed, images of New York’s Rally Against Hate.

The rally came in response to recent anti-gay hate crimes, including the murder of Mark Carson, who was shot in the West Village on May 18.

Related Posts:

Blueberry Crunch Cake

May. 21st, 2013 05:37 pm
[syndicated profile] theenglishkitchen_feed


(Another repost from an earlier time.  A delicious blueberry cake.  We love blueberries, and I try to incorporate them into our diet as regularly as I can.  We have about six of our own high bush berry bushes now, and they really produce a lot during picking season. Yum! Yum!)

I wanted to use up some of the blueberries that I have stored in my freezer. I always have some there. Whenever the store puts them on special I buy up extra punnets of them and stick them straight into the freezer.

That makes them ever so handy to use in cakes and puddings, crumbles and pies.



You can use them straight from the freezer without thawing them out. They work like a charm as long as you are using them to cook with.



I have never tried eating frozen blueberries, except in smoothies, and they work pretty well in those as well. A little frozen fruit makes a smoothie a beautiful thing in my opinion.



I remembered this fabulous recipe I have for a blueberry crumb cake, that has a wonderfully moist texture and is topped by a delicious crumble crunch.



You will love this. Your family will love this. Your guests will love this.
EVERYONE will love this!!



It's a KEEPER. Need I say anymore???



I think not! Let the pictures speak for themselves.



*Blueberry Crunch Cake*
Serves 8
Printable Recipe

A delicously moist cake, stogged to overflowing with blueberries and topped with a lovely sweet crunch! This is fabulous.

280G (2 cups) flour
300g (1 1/2 cups) caster sugar
5 1/2 (2/3 cup) ounces butter
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
250ml (1 cup) milk
2 large eggs, separated
1 tsp vanilla
1 X 200g (approx. 2 cups) blueberries

To serve:
pouring cream or custard

Preheat the oven to 180*C/350*F. Butter a 9 X 13 inch nonstick baking pan. Set aside.

Whisk together the flour and sugar. Rub in the butter with your fingertips, until the mixture resembles fine dry bread crumbs. Remove 3/4 of a cup of this to use for the topping, and set it aside. To the remainder add the salt and baking powder. Beat in the egg yolks, vanilla and milk. Blend together well.

Beat the egg whites until stiff. Fold them into the batter. Spread the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the blueberries evenly over top of all. Sprinkle the reserved crumb mixture over top of the blueberries.

Bake in the heated oven for 40 top 50 minutes, until the cake is well risen and golden brown along the edges and is completely set in the middle and tests done. Remove from the oven to a wire rack to cool and serve warm from the pan with some pouring cream or custard.

Note - the leftovers are delicious!

When Wylla Leaps

May. 21st, 2013 09:39 am
[syndicated profile] ittybittykitty_feed

Posted by Laurie Cinotto

It's an effortless kitten pounce - as easy as dandelion seeds taking flight.

There is no sound when she lands, so you wonder if she even did.



DSC_0103

DSC_0106

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DSC_0117

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The Obstacle is the Path

May. 21st, 2013 03:53 pm
[syndicated profile] zenhabits_feed

Posted by zenhabits

By Leo Babauta

Often we’re discouraged because of some tough challenge or obstacle in our way. But a shift in mindset from a Zen proverb can change everything: “The obstacle is the path.”

The obstacle isn’t something standing in our way. It’s the way itself.

That might seem strange, so let’s look at a few examples:

  • You are struggling with writing, and procrastinate. Procrastination is the symptom, but it also illuminates the path you should take: you are dreading something about the writing, you are shying away from discomfort, you are afraid of the writing or what will happen when you publish the writing. So work with that dread, the discomfort, and the fear. You’ll be stronger for having done that.
  • You are shy and can’t meet people. This can be seen as an obstacle to social happiness, or as a path for something to work with. Many people will avoid this obstacle of shyness, and instead stay home and not socialize. Instead, go towards this shyness, explore it, find out what you’re afraid of, work with that fear. You’ll get better at handling the fear, even let go of it, and it will no longer stand in your way.
  • You are stressed out and overwhelmed at work. You can complain about this problem (and it will then continue for the rest of your life), or you can immerse yourself it, let it lead you to self-exploration, and deal with the source of that stress and overwhelm. You’ll learn that you have unrealistic expectations and ideals, learn to let go of them, and the stress will go away. You’ll now have a tool for dealing with stress for the rest of your life.
  • People criticize you for doing things different, and don’t understand what you’re doing. You can get mad at them, rage against the unfairness of the world, or avoid them. Or, instead, you could embrace this concern, thank them for caring about you, and engage them in a conversation about what you’re going through, why you decided to do it, and how you could use their support. They might not completely understand, but they also might understand you better, which is great. And you’ll now be better at dealing with this forevermore.
  • You are jealous, angry, weak, impatient, grieving. You can deal with any of these issues, if you are willing to go into them, and be OK with experiencing these discomforts.

The examples can go on forever, but the principle becomes clear: when there’s an obstacle, don’t go around it. Don’t run from it. Go into it. Work with it. Explore it. Learn how to be with it and deal with it, and you’ll have a skill for life.

And what’s more: you will no longer be limited by obstacles in your path.

Oklahoma

May. 21st, 2013 03:30 pm
[syndicated profile] therumpusdotnet_feed

Posted by Lisa Dusenbery

Our thoughts are with the people of Oklahoma as the rescue effort continues in the wake of yesterday’s devastating tornado.

Oklahoma City’s KFOR-TV has live streaming coverage online.

Here are a few ideas on how to help the victims.

A Facebook group is helping to link up victims with their strewn belongings. Here are some recovered items.

Related Posts:

  • No related posts…

The Myth Of The Crack Baby

May. 21st, 2013 02:00 pm
[syndicated profile] tanehisicoates_feed

Posted by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Here is a great video on the effects of the "Crack Baby" hysteria of the early 80s. One thing I did not know was that pregnant women who used crack were actually being prosecuted in response to the madness. 

It is hard to ignore the effects of racism here. There is a time-honored American tradition of turning minorities into the vessel for all the country's vices--as if all the aliens disappeared adultery, murder, idleness and all other manner of sin would disappear with us. This is especially true in the realm of drugs. 
    


[syndicated profile] marksdailyapple_feed

Posted by Mark Sisson

dontgiveupThis is a guest post from Jack Yee. Jack’s Primal Blueprint Real Life Story “Free at 50” was published a few weeks ago here on Mark’s Daily Apple. In this article, Jack shares his four strategies for conquering intense workouts, and becoming both physically and mentally stronger as a result. Enter Jack…

When I first made the transition from conventional bodybuilding training to full body primal workouts, I quickly realized it was one of the best things I ever did. I used to look forward to doing the primal workout of the week or the contest WODs that were sent in by some of you. There was something so liberating about pounding a sledgehammer, crawling on grass, or throwing a stone and running as if I was being chased by a saber-tooth predator (all while being outside soaking in some much needed vitamin D). The primal workouts were fun, but very difficult to get through due to the high intensity that each workout demands. Many times, I wanted to quit, but I didn’t. As a result of this training – along with the Primal eating plan – I was able to get in the best shape of my life. But, something unexpected also changed in me; I became mentally tougher.

Now whenever I coach an athlete or train a client I tell them my first priority is to get them mentally tougher. High intensity training will teach your mind how to push your body to do amazing things. The byproduct of mental toughness training is having a better body; by focusing on the mind first, the aesthetics will follow.

More importantly, I teach my clients how a strong mind will improve their overall quality of life by teaching them how to persevere. However, the majority of them couldn’t care less about being mentally tougher as they have the misconception that being mentally tough is about being a macho rough neck. This is hardly the mental toughness I teach my clients. Mental toughness is the ability to overcome adversity. It is a skill that can be honed and strengthened.

The problem is most people don’t see how advantageous it is be mentally strong. They think toughness development is only for competitive athletes. However, we all participate in the cruelest sport of them all – life. Just living day-to-day life is full of painful ordeals and unfairness. If you are weak, the harshness of this world can destroy your spirit and hinder your health recovery. When adversity strikes, it does not discriminate between age or gender. It doesn’t matter how great of shape you are in or how long you have been grain-free. If you are you are mentally weak, you will always be susceptible to falling apart during a personal crisis. This is why men and women, young and old can all benefit from some mental toughness training. We all need some improvements in learning how to stay in the fight.

The best thing about mental toughness training is that you don’t have to pay thousands of dollars to join a navy SEAL boot camp and get yelled at by a muscle bound sergeant. But, you do have to go through some difficult and challenging physical training to get there. There just isn’t a shortcut to become mentally tougher. This doesn’t mean you have to give up your current workout protocol. All you have to do is add one high intensity workout per week to your schedule. Mark’s recent article on 10 Full Body Workouts You Can Do in 10 Minutes Flat is loaded with great workouts that will test your perseverance skills. CrossFit WODs or the Workout of the Week from the Primal Blueprint Fitness series also fit the bill.

Now, let’s take a look at my four strategies for destroying tough workouts and cultivating mental toughness in the process:

Strategy #1 – Prepare Yourself to Be the Aggressor

When it comes down to the workouts, there are only two outcomes – either you get through them or you don’t. Aggression is a primal instinct necessary for survival. It doesn’t need to be expressed through violence. It can manifest from your mind into positive action. The behavior you want to achieve is to finish the workouts. How you prepare for each workout will ultimately be the difference in your mental toughness progression or regression. Sun Tze’s “Art of War” is all based on winning the battle before you begin the fight. Same philosophy with this program as well.

One of the best ways to develop the mindset of one who is relentless is to understand your need to be mentally tough. Ask yourself empowering self-questions like, “Why do I need to become mentally tough?”, “What is my purpose with my training today?” Confront yourself for the truth in your preparation. Dig deep in yourself for personal reasons.

A wide range of emotions from desire to passion will be sure to surface. Stimulating your emotions can be a very powerful source of self-motivation. It doesn’t matter what the emotions are as long as they provoke aggressive ideas and thoughts to you. The more personal your answers, the more provoking they will be to arouse you to become the aggressor in the upcoming feud between you and the primal workouts. If you do not have a strong purpose or need, you are not going to be able to handle the demands from the training sessions. Finding a sense of great urgency with your purpose and need will help you pack some much needed heat going into the fight. You should do it before every training session. Let it be a ritual where you load and reload your mind’s chamber. You can go over your purpose and need when you drive to the gym or think about it during your warm-ups. Just let it build up and stew with you until you begin the workout. You want your mind and body overflowing with pure aggression before the workout. I don’t care if you are a law abiding citizen, mild-mannered person, soccer mom, or a nerd like me. When it comes to getting ready for a tough workout like Mark’s burpee ladder, you must transform your soul to become a merciless caveman with primitive aggression with only one thing in mind – you will finish the workout, no matter what.

Strategy #2 – Strengthen Your Connection with Your Will

Your ability to overcome obstacles is all dependent on your will. Your will is what imposes your thoughts and desire into action. You have to think of your will as something concrete that can be molded and shaped.

The primal workouts is a great system that you show you how powerful your will is. Constantly putting your will to the physical test and demands of these workouts is how you raise your pain and fatigue tolerance. If you don’t quit during the workouts, you are teaching your will to be defiant. With repeated practice at even higher levels of discomfort is how you develop a will that is indomitable. The only caveat is that the workouts must provide some level of anguish like Mark’s brutal car pushing workout. When you’re struggling to get a single inch out of the car push, you have to remind yourself over and over that what you are doing is honing your skill to persevere.

After you finish each workout, you must acknowledge your will as one of the sole reasons for your accomplishment of getting through them. The more you recognize your will, the less elusive it becomes. As your will becomes more accessible, it becomes a solid tool or better yet, a weapon that you can use against any adversity that is trying to break your morale. Being mentally tough means continuing the fight, no matter how much your strength seems to be fading.

On the contrary, let the discomfort you are feeling stimulate your will even more, so it can deliver strength to your body. This is the “second wind” great athletes all have as they are able to supply a rush of energy from the power of their will. The more your mind practices pushing your body to do things it doesn’t want to, the stronger your will becomes. The ultimate sign of a tough-minded person with a strong will is they have the ability to come back stronger than ever even when they seemed completely down and out.

Strategy #3 – Optimizing Positive Self-Talk and Visualization Skills

We talk to ourselves all the time. What you say to yourself can have a profound effect on your actions and feelings. Even if we don’t say things directly to ourselves, our thoughts can unconsciously manifest in our body. You must learn to optimize your inner positive dialogue to your advantage, especially when you do a devastating workout like Mark’s challenge that requires you to carry ½ your body weight for 10 minutes. I just did this workout and by the first minute my mind was filled with negative thoughts to quit. By the fifth minute, my mind was pleading with me to stop and by the ninth minute, my mind was screaming negative profanities to drop the weight! Suppressing my mind’s negative chatter was 90 percent of this battle.

Positive self-talk is a subtle change that can put whole different meaning to your thought process. Remember, this training is all about how your thoughts influence your behavior so you want to have as much positive and aggressive action statements roaming around in your head. The good news is that most people repeat the same negative statements over and over like “I can’t do this” or “This is too hard.” Look for certain negative verbs in you thought patterns like “can’t”, “don’t” or “won’t” and replace with positive verbs like “must”, “can” or “will.”

Strategy #4 – The Power of Mantras

Mantras are strong one sentence phases that motivate you to be aggressive and relentless. They should be short and full of action words as you will repeat them often during the workouts. They are meant to inspire you in times of need. If a mantra doesn’t motivate you to keep on going, they are not effective. They should cause your body to take on a life of its own.

Mantras are a great way to teach you the relationship of how the mind can lead the body. Repeating them over and over can be very hypnotic as they will lead you into action. This is why you want to create as many different types of mantras as possible, especially the ones that really push your buttons. With every workout, there is that pivotal moment when the workout is becoming overbearing and you are close to quitting. When this happens, you need a mantra that will create some rage in yourself to force you into action. By seeing red, you’ll be able to re-energize yourself and finish the workout with some authority.

One of my potent mantras that I have is “I refuse to give up on myself anymore.” When I repeat this mantra, I always am able to jump-start my energy no matter how exhausted I’m at during a workou. This mantra causes my mind to be fuming with past memories of me when I was at my most mentally weakest. In an instant, these words are all I need for my body to regenerate itself and push through. This mantra has so much personal meaning to me, I can’t count the numerous times it saved me from letting a classic primal WOW like “I’m Gonna Be (500 reps)” from burying me.

Remember the challenge of the workouts in this program don’t start until the point when you want to quit. Only when you have reached the throes of your suffering and can’t take any more of your muscles burning or psychological stress, does the real toughness training begin. Many times the demands of primal training were close to shattering my combative caveman spirit, but my mantras that incite me, always came through. Grok on!

Learn more about Jack Yee’s take on mental toughness training from MentalToughnessGuy.com.

Grab a Copy of Primal Cravings: Your Favorite Foods Made Paleo and Claim Your FREE Gifts While the Limited-Time Offer Lasts!

Buddy

May. 21st, 2013 02:07 pm
[syndicated profile] dailykitten_feed

Posted by The Kittenmaster

Location: Metter, Georgia, USA

buddy

Buddy was the offspring of a cat that my son rescued. The mamma kitty (Katusha) was being used as a toy for one of my neighbors’ pit bulls. As fate would have it, when Buddy came along (with his sister Marlee), I had every intention of finding them their own furever homes. Buddy, however, had other plans. He was so curious, always helping me with my computer work. He proceeded to follow me every where I went. He was one of the most loving kittens I had ever had. So at 8 weeks of age, we decided to keep both Buddy and his sister. Unfortunately, in October 2010, I lost my precious little boy. My heart still aches. But I know he is still watching over me. One day I will again see my wonderful kitten that brought me so much joy and love.

Stress Busters!

May. 21st, 2013 02:22 pm
[syndicated profile] awfullibrarybooks_feed

Posted by Holly Hibner

Managing Stress: From Morning to Night Time-Life Books 1987 Mary: I thought this title would be an excellent kickoff to our new and improved site. Hopefully, you will notice that pictures are loading faster. Both of us will continue to tweak this as we go along. We appreciate your patience for the last few days. [...]

Canvasser

May. 21st, 2013 01:30 pm
[syndicated profile] jay_is_games_feed

Posted by LDora

Platform: Flash —



Canvasser

Raise money to save a forest from being cut down. It's a good cause so it should be easy, right? Wrong! Pick up your trusty clipboard and beat the streets talking to people and trying to stir them into donating to meet your goals. But be warned... getting people to open their wallets is harder than you think when your confidence, trust, charisma, and even job is on the line in this unique simulation/arcade game. Tagged as: arcade, browser, flash, free, game, jlango, linux, mac, rating-y, simulation, strategy, unique, windows

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